In about October time last year, I came to terms with being bisexual. My sexuality is something that I’ve been confused about my entire life (well since I was about 10, I am now 16 and soon to be 17). I was so scared to tell anyone, that I even considered and tried to commit suicide – as I wasn’t strong enough. Lucky, I see my school counsellor… and I told her about how I was feeling (in terms of being suicidal). She helped me, and I became to trust her… so in turn, I told her the reason behind my suicidal actions.

She then suggested that I tell someone else – who is my age, so I told my friend at school… she really understood… but how ever she is a heavy Christian and believes that I can be changed (which is something I don’t want to do).

For about the next two weeks I felt ok… I wasn’t in a good mood, but I felt… just ok. However, at the time my school was putting on a play… I like acting and auditioned and got the main role, in the play there was another main role which was taken up by my friend’s (a different [female] friend) boyfriend… As we spent time together, practising our lines and just chatting… I stated to get feeling for him (truth be told I don’t know if it was lust or love… but I’m leaning to the one with the L-O-V-E).

About another week later, we were reading a story in our second language, the story was about self-concept and how some people don’t have it at all… I am one of these people – my self-concept is non-existent. So hearing about how I see myself got me depressed… again. It was a Friday and our last lesson we have free. On this Friday we went down to the field, as I was feeling depressed I just went to sit on my own. Some of my friends joined my (by the way all my friends are girls… except my best friend – I just don’t fit in with the guys + I find them all so immature). They asked me what was wrong… so I told them about the story and how it made me feel… and then I told them about how I felt (in terms of my sexual orientation). They were all rather shocked, but however also understood. So the conversation came around to the guys I liked… So I told them about the guy from the play… but that wasn’t a smart move as his girlfriend was one of the girls there… subsequently her and myself stopped talking… another thing I became depressed over… a few weeks after that, her boyfriend stopped talking to me as well… I was heartbroken, and turned to suicide yet again.

However, as you’ve probably guessed I haven’t killed myself… I just, couldn’t do it. I couldn’t drink the bleach, jump off the chair, keep my head in the water or get the knife through the skin on my wrists. So I’m a coward…

Weeks have passed since then… My parents now know about me… another thing I was dreading… and another thing I started to get depressed about. As I felt that my parents were homophobic… but they aren’t…

Now you might be wondering… ‘But you are already out’… but to myself I’m not. But this I what I’m dreading as my class – apart from the girls are 100% homophobic! You just do a flick of the wrist in a non-straight manner and you are condemned as someone gay… trust me I’ve been there. As I said before, the guys and I don’t get on well… They have very closed minds when it comes to what a guy should and shouldn’t like. ‘A guy must like sport, a guy must talk dirty language… a guy must talk about how he wants to “tap” that bitch’ It makes me sick! How can they be so unmannered, so horrible so… I want to use the word childish… but even a child is better mannered than these… these Apes, and that’s not even the best word.

As I said, in my class I’ve been condemned as the gay, the loser, the nerd… and because I’ve listened to it so much… I’m starting to believe it. Although I hate them so much… and I would like nothing more than to cut them up bit by bit slowly and painfully (by the way this is an exaggeration but it the best way to show how I feel toward them)… I do want to be accepted by them…

And although they hate my guts… they use me… as I’m the person in the class who is organized, I’m the one in the class who can talk to the teachers… I’m the one in class who can set up movies and things like that… And I do it… why because if I don’t… what will happen… I’ll be treated even worse.

I know I’ve gone a little off topic… but if you are going to answer my question, you needed to know the background. Should I ‘Come Out’? Should I tell them who I am… and screw the consequences…?

Just remember I have another two years to spend with these A-wholes.

I’ll be plain and simple: just come out. Nobody will ever accept you if you can’t even accept yourself.

anyway, doing that bsc. degree would definitely give you an edge, and hopefully you can move to live in someplace better (if you want to, as leaving the parent’s home might be hard for some)

ANOTHER FOOD FIGHT!!
So this time we, not just the 4 of us, but the whole 11th grade student body is going to participate and support in the event. I mean they support the fact that we are innocent teenagers that didn’t do anything to get blamed. In fact some trouble maker agreed to start it and target the people that we want to get this time. Do you have any tips on how to start the food fight or how we should act? Do you think we should have revenge at all? Comments concerns are welcome! Lets get this started!

Oh, and we are all going to wear old clothes that day so all of us can participate.

ok there girlie girl! You my dear have some great advise. My advise is to really take in to consideration what these people are advising; Stay clear! If you are really getting evil and dirty looks from security guards and they are creeping you out (meaning he/they are perverts) you can go to your parents and principal and say something about it! But alas, make sure it is just not your imagination. Do not cry "wolf" unless it is really the big bad "wolf!" Also remember, taking revenge always, always, back fires! That is why there is an ole saying, "revenge is a dish best eaten cold!" Meaning: do not seek revenge, the chance to take revenge is always dropped in your lap when you are least expecting it! and when you do not even want it! It just happens that way! And of course you can always laugh your self silly or just shake your head and go about your business with a smile on your face! Hope this helps! Good Luck!

I don’t know if you’re able to have cell phones in school but a HD flip shouldn’t violate school policy, but anymore god knows, and have some people do some covert spying for you to prove that the security guard is indeed harassing you.

If all else fails, I’m afraid you’re going to have to do the detention but I’d still write a letter of protest to the principal.

Unfortunately you’re fighting an uphill battle against people with egos that are usually out of control and get down on their power. But the upside is that you’re not in HS forever.

Best of luck to you.

I feel like she’s always trying to compete with me. I talk about making $100 babysitting, she blabs about the over two grand she got back from taxes. I mention the nail polish I bought, she goes on about the shopping spree she went on. I talk about losing 20lbs so far, and she starts telling me how she bought diet pills and got a new treadmill.

I stopped taking her calls at that point, so she started calling me over 3 times a day. I snapped and sent her a message saying that I was busy eating and asked what she needed. She stopped calling me and we cooled down (or so I thought) for about a week.

I saw her in person and she gave me a dirty look and said she couldn’t talk. So I sent her a message saying that I’d truly been busy and wasn’t avoiding her – I also told her how I value her friendship and don’t want to lose her as a friend. She wrote back "don’t worry about it."

We just started talking again a few days ago, too. The week that we stopped talking, she decided to post a notice to everyone about her wedding this June. Now that’s all she ever talks about. We’re supposed to be "really close" with each other, but she hasn’t invited me to even attend it, much less be in it. She’ll only mention it directly to me to "complain" about it.

Anytime I try to defend myself or let her know politely that I won’t be treated like crap anymore like she did in the past, she jumps my case and tells me I’m being paranoid and overreacting.

Is it just me? Or has she just not changed her old ways? Is there a way for her to change, by continuing to be nice to her in hopes that it’ll rub off? Or is my problem that I am too nice and I always give in, forgive and forget? And if I’m not wrong and she is being mean to me, WHY is she being this way? What have I ever done wrong to her except try to be happy with my life???
The cons of her do outway the pros. I’m just wondering how do I let this fade then? I don’t want any drama, so do I just keep her on my Facebook and not take her calls? I feel like even then I’ll always have this constant slap in the face anytime she makes a status about whatever is going on in her life. I would be happy for her, but its hard when I’m sure her comments and statuses are made to make me feel bad or inferior. I’m still so lost!

You know my mom works with someone like that. Why is she that way? To put it simply she might be what you call a "narcissist". These kinds of people have trouble getting along and like to think of themselves as the center of the universe. If you just so happen to mention something that makes you better in any way she’ll try and compete with it. It appears from your description of events she has done this repeatedly and doesn’t change or even try to change, in her mind she is perfection.

To decide where you go from here is to simply look at things in an intelligent perspective. Does she make you happy? Hmmm… I can’t say. From all that I know she doesn’t. You are NOT looking forward to talking to her, she insults you, you avoid her. Sometimes you have to count your losses and move on. I understand she has been your friend and you wouldn’t want to lose her…but you have got to do what is best for you. A friend should make you happy, she doesn’t. She HAS NOT invited you to her wedding, a friend would. You have to weigh things out..and my dear, I’m afraid she has more negatives than positives. You should surround yourself with good people.

You have done absolutely nothing wrong. You are also one hundred percent correct about the situation. I say lose her. Of course I may be a bit biased seeing as how I have had friends like this and I too am a "carrot-top/ginger".

EDIT: I am so sorry you are in this situation. I suppose what you could do is gradually decrease your contact, a sudden cease to contact could create MASSIVE amounts of drama. Don’t take her calls and as far as facebook goes when you go on there DO NOT check her page, if her status comes up on your home page I think there is a way of disabling some people’s status feeds. If not then try not to look. I know it may be hard, but TRUST me it is what’s best. I had a friend that constantly talked about me and my BEST FRIEND behind our backs and always insulting us. Because of this friend my life was a living hell for several months. The BEST thing I could have done was get her out of my life..even times she see me she takes her chance to insult me, but I hold my head up high and act as if she is not there.
And about feeling the constant slap, my dear, she has no control over your life..sure her’s might be GREAT or so she says..but to get rid of that slap is to know you have done your best and still are. You life is what you make of it, NEVER let someone else decide what happens in your life. The pain of letting this friend go will fade as time drags on. Trust me I know. Back in October of ’10 I simply told a friend of mine off after he continued to lie to me and hurt me. It’s been roughly 5 months since I have talked to him and I feel absolutely NO desire to speak to him. The challenge is the first month of no contact..abide by it and time will have it been increasingly more bare-able. "I’m sure her comments and statuses are made to make me feel bad or inferior." Yet another reason you should drop her. If she does that, then you should know she is BAD for you. But listen you can have so many BRILLIANT wonderful things happening in your life and being a good person is much better than having to one-up everything because you feel YOU are the most important. You don’t deserve to be treated like this by her…as much as it may hurt, no one is worth this.