The doorbell rang just as I loaded the last dirty dish into the dishwasher. I slammed the creaky old thing shut, pushed the start button, and dashed down the hall towards the front door. I opened the maple brown door to find Chloe Banks panting and out of breath in front of me. A flicker of recognition shone in her eyes, then the usual, evil, milky brown took back over. “Water please?” she croaked. It was a dusty, fry-an-egg-on-the-sidewalk kind of day. Chloe wore her curly brown hair in a messy ponytail and had on hot pink running shorts. Her ever-perfect makeup was as perfect as ever. Chloe tapped her foot impatiently and said again, “Water please?” I blinked in surprise and stammered, “Oh, umm…y-ya…wait r-right here.”
“Rude,” she muttered under her breath.
“On second thought, why don’t you come inside and take a seat out of the sun?” I cooed sweetly, having gotten over the surprise of finding her on my doorstep.
Chloe and I have been rivals for as long as I could remember. She is pretty, preppy, popular, and well, competitive. Now me, I am all of those things except preppy. I hate cheering and anything else that requires jumping around in little skirts. You see, at our school we have 3 major groups of people. Two of these groups are popular. One is not. The first popular group is cheerleaders, so it’s only about 10 girls or so, and Chloe belongs to this group. The second popular group is the athletes, which is where I, Danielle fit in, along with most of my friends. The last group is the nerds and geeks who sit around all day and night in the library. Anyway, Chloe and I are always at each other’s throats; whether it be in the classroom arguing over who gets to be the class leader, or in extra-curricular activities deciding who should be the captain of whatever we are doing. Chloe followed me through the dark hallway, the linoleum-floored kitchen, and into the cool and welcoming living room. There were a few sofas here and there, along with a La-Z boy recliner and a few coffee tables. Chloe plopped herself down and looked at me expectantly. I turned on my heel and briskly walked back into the kitchen to fetch her water. “Danielle, get a hold of yourself!” I thought. “Why are you doing everything she asks you to do? You aren’t one to be bossed around. It’s your house! Do something! Don’t take her crap!” I sighed and returned to the living room with her requested glass of water. But she wasn’t there; instead I found Chloe around the corner prowling in my drawers. “Is there a problem?” I hissed at her. “Oh Danielle, Danielle, Danielle! I wanted to tell you something!” she began as she turned back around and took the water from my hand. She took a long gulp and handed it back. “You know, I’m not so thirsty now…I think I would rather talk.”
so you know that they are enemies but what could happen nxt? why would chloe want to talk to danielle if she hates her?? im stuck! please rate what i have so far and leave some comments to what could happen next! thanks!
When Danielle finds Chloe looking through her drawers she should say "find what you were looking for?" add a bit of sarcasm.
As for what could happen next umm..
1) Chloe could be setting Danielle up distracting her while the rest of chloe’s friends are vandalizing Danielle’s house (or car if shes old enough)
2) Or she actually wants to talk to Danielle about something serious, like umm they are both in the same extra curricular activity or sport and she wants to talk about putting differences aside to beat the rival school
3) Chloe could be threatening Danielle telling her to stay away from a guy that they both like because prom (or a school dance) is coming up and she wants to go with him. So Chloe and her friends find a way to make sure he asks Chloe to the dance and he does but by the end of the book he likes Danielle because she is not fake and preppy like Chloe.
In complete honesty, it doesn’t sound like this story will go any further than quizilla.
3/10
References :
A few things
1. Chole put something in the draw(go on from there)
2. Chole finds something (like mysterious like a will or something)
3.somehow Danielle and Chole both are in troble and have to work together to clear thier names
4.they both end up being nerds/geeks
References :
This is quite an interesting idea. Personally, I would recommend something along the lines of Chloe being in some kind of trouble, perhaps she finds some terrible secret about someone (perhaps she finds out that someone wants to murder Danielle) and decides that she can’t live with that kind of secret.
I am intrigued and would like to see how the story continues from here.
Best Wishes,
Eugén J. Jung
References :
When Danielle finds Chloe looking through her drawers she should say "find what you were looking for?" add a bit of sarcasm.
As for what could happen next umm..
1) Chloe could be setting Danielle up distracting her while the rest of chloe’s friends are vandalizing Danielle’s house (or car if shes old enough)
2) Or she actually wants to talk to Danielle about something serious, like umm they are both in the same extra curricular activity or sport and she wants to talk about putting differences aside to beat the rival school
3) Chloe could be threatening Danielle telling her to stay away from a guy that they both like because prom (or a school dance) is coming up and she wants to go with him. So Chloe and her friends find a way to make sure he asks Chloe to the dance and he does but by the end of the book he likes Danielle because she is not fake and preppy like Chloe.
References :
Hope I helped lol.